I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
