Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We need to rekindle our bromance
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize