Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
