i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
