he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
