You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
