So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
