it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
