She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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