I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize