So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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