My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize