my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
