I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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