i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
