also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
