Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
