i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
