Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
