and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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