Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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