That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
