but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
