You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
