Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm bleeding and have questions
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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