i was rollin on her like bob the builder
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
