a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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