you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
