Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
