Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
