Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
