it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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