i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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