It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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