I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
