thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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