Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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