Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have post one night stand depression
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