woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
