That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
