Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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