yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
