I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
