my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
