ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
