i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
