im drinking this country out of the recession.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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