First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
