I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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