sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
