We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize