Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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