He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize