She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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