she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
