If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
