My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
false alarm. still invincible.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
