you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
