sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
