You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
