All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
