if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think people are normalizing furries
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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