It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
